How Did I Get Here

How is it that I lose control
My mind plays tricks
In need of patrol
Truth revealed a rotten shame
Another torturous ugly game

I thought I knew myself so real
I thought I was clear it was the deal
Alive and happy dancing in the sun
Really excited and having fun
I thought I knew someone who was close
But instead just the mask of another ghost

I confessed my pleasure
My admiration sincere
And my closest friend
Whispered in my ear

I am worried for you
You have lost your mind
This does not exist
Why you are blind
If it does then demand adequate attention
I know it won't come so I have apprehension

Express myself with rhythm not rhyme
At least if I could I could travel and shine
I sit in the darkness alone, obsessed
The worst type of loneliness, Im stressed

I'll go see a doctor
Follow the advise
I'm ashamed
I'm embarrassed
This is my vice