Out of Place

A flower in my shower, a sketch on a canvas of steam,

What an unlikely place for such a pitiful flower to be.

The petals are repulsive and it’s leaves dwarfed by the lack of light,

amazing how plainly it is shined to me on this night.

A symbol of cowardice, a symbol of blame,

a symbol of the antipathy-the gardener hath made.

When I think I have hope and turn my eye to see the sun,

I face only darkness and thunderclouds above.

The flower is out of place, not worthy of the surrounding rose;

it bears no fruit and contaminates the soil.

Pluck it now and strip the roots

or transplant the heirloom and let her live in a proper garden.

It means nothing, really…

I dream at night

I dream to escape the stress

I dream when I want to escape reality

I know it is only a dream

I wake up and can enjoy the thoughts and fantasy

Reality exist in my day to day

In my children’s eyes and in my family’s support

I imagine a hammock and a chair in a spa

I imagine a massage chair on a cliff in Tulum

Dreams come and go, reality stays with me

I know the difference and am not afraid

I hide to protect my identity my words often hurt

They reveal too much of me

I don’t want to hurt my family with the truth and disappointment-I hold it all for me and those pages of my computer or journal

I put it out there-I let it go. Cheap therapy for pains of my past a safe haven to use my imagination, a place where when it’s over, it was only a dream and for me

I don’t search nor wish to confuse the two

I ski a slope and take care of me. Me and my guilt, me and my fantasy, me and my disappointment

My current reality, a dream come true

I do nothing that will harm the truth I know.

I love, I smile, and I take care of those around me. I encourage even those I don’t ever see.

I regret when my words are hurtful, they’re not a part of who I want to be. I give positivity and optimism from my heart; I try to be a good mother and honest wife. I love.

Addicted perhaps to helping others, addicted to loving me I want to shine, I want to be a good friend, and I want to be a good person. No secrets, no hiding, no running from the truth. I tease, I laugh, I play, and I love being a muse. Use me for what you need and move from me when you are done.

I hope

I have passion

I give thanks for the questions that help me grow

I explore my depths

I let my auto pilot pull my pen

I dream of being good at something and passing a gift on to all of you, no one …And I laugh. All an exercise, an escape, a dream or actually my reality that makes me stronger

Reality Contemplated Part 2

Lost in a Forest

Walking, climbing, slipping on a path

I hear water flowing

I close my eyes and think about which way it flows

Shall I stay still and hope I am found

Will someone come and rescue me

I need someone to show me the way

I need someone to lead me

I’m scared

I might end up moving in the wrong direction

I’m safe now and will stay put

I like the warmth of the sun

I wish that there was fire

I worry that I will go hungry

I wonder will I die of thirst

I wonder if anyone would miss me if I was gone

I find shelter from an approaching storm

I find comfort from the tunes in my head

I find encouragement in a falling star

I make a wish and sleep

I dream that someone will save me

Morning comes and I awake renewed by the sight of a deer. I decide to follow the stream.

The stream flows quickly but is shallow, not deep eventually leading me to a road.

There is no one on the road, I look both ways

I am now lost on a road

Perception

Ego Man

Confident

On stage

Handsome

High on life

Burning

Jumping from a plane

Loyal

Loving

Strong  

Smiling

Arrogant

Encouraging

Successful

Blue blood

Walking ahead

Looking back

Lonely and crying inside

Searching

Leaning

Needing

Neglected

Unfulfilled

Someone else’s Superman

Family Man

Jolly

Gracious

Always a good time

Funny

Athletic

Adventurous

Sweet

Loving

Immature

Irresponsible

Alone

Indulgent

Untrustworthy

No control

Sloppy

Pop Star

Sexy

Confident

Talented

Creative

Million dollar smile

Photogenic

Ambitious

Style

Sensitive

Insecure

Hurting

Surrounded but Alone

Continually searching

ID vs. Ego on display

Untrusting

I Search for a Thrill

I ache and yearn for something

Someone something

I need the feeling the thrill

A lawyer, a pop star, a business man, a career man, a dad it does not matter the job, it’s my loss and need for passion and desire that keeps me on the prowl.

Give me something exciting, interesting, gifted, challenging give me something that makes my blood boil, my brain tick, my pussy turn wet.

It takes over me it starts as a thought and finds itself swimming, laughing and calling from deep inside my need to be grabbed, my need to be told what to do my need to be desired

I search for something entertaining